Sunday, June 19, 2011

The other side of the interview panel

Jun 19:

Just like the kids being nervous of the needle, I am nervous about interviews. I lost all on campus interviews on my final yr BE. I cleared around 10 first/second rounds but failed in the final of the all except Infy's, the last one to rescue me. Though my language was one of the reasons, i would credit more to my nervousness, you can call it stage fear as well. How did i clear Infy then? trust me, it was only by the grace of the God! :)

Yesterday, after more than 6 years, I had to sit in the other side of the interview panel @ infy. I was ofcourse nervous again and actually was trying to avoid it as much as I can for a month already.There were other factors that helped me push for that one month, like, venue was Shols Infy which is about 30 kms and also scheduled for a Saturday. I knew, i have to face it tomorrow if not today. As I agreed, was hoping still for it to be pushed even further by the organizers. That dint happen. I sat almost the whole night to brush up my Java skills. Woke up early on alarm, started from home by 7 AM. I had to be at office by 8.45. Though it was supposed be 45 min ride, started early as the route was new for my pulsar. Reached office, and we gathered in a conf hall for instructions. there were many other freshers as well for the panel. To hide the tension, i started playing Ninja Rush on my Nexus which betrayed me.

Went to the interview room with another panelist. When the first interviewee came in, I got completely comfortable within seconds, because the guy who came in, was so shivering like anything....:D

Friday, June 17, 2011

Why do i Grow?

Post : Jun 16 midnight

For some days or months now, have been breaking my head on what next. Shifting company for more money and better work (?), some investment, a new venture and finally yes ofcourse the coupling, some call it marriage. Am not even comfortable on using the word. let me go with coupling. First, am not convinced yet with a right reason for it. when i ask why? i dont get an answer other than the male instinct (ok call it sex if u want) . Any other reason like 'a company', 'a parent care taker' , 'a burden sharer' nothing works out....which ever i would want to attach it to, makes me feel a cheat myself or a guy running away from his duties. if i try to give a deep thought, i find that i have nothing else to hold strong on to stick to the world. This is very real.

when kid, it was parents who were deciding for most things, except the time i got to play. And to play was an instinct. I pushed myself to decent score because of an interest i had with a girl. It clearly was a message that instincts were either shifting or expanding. Getting to job for the future of the family was a natural objective and goal. Now, things are different. Am at a distance from all my siblings. My immediate responsibility is parents, but they dont depend much on me. Also they think otherwise, that is, they wanna open a pleasant door for my future by getting me coupled to the right girl. They see it as their responsibility or a pending burden.

Havent been strongly stopping them and thats becoz i dont know if to stop would be right for i dont see a better alternate to propose. All i have been telling them is am not settled yet and to go slow. Also if I stop them now, what if am wrong and regret in the future?

Getting to the intellectual piece again, only thing i could realize is that we were (not just me), from birth, only trying to keep ourselves busy by getting into something. Whats 'Ourselves' in the previous sentence? it could be the soul or brain or mind or spirit or whatever, the whatever that we think as ourselves.

In simple words, when hungry we push to feed ourselves and that becomes the only goal of life until it is done. After it is done, you move to the next on list. Could be your work or play. something physical. Take it in general terms and dont compare it to any specific instance. Applies to all actions, isnt it?
I can also give an example. When i first drove a pulsar of my firend's, i started to crave for a good bike and especially a pulsar. When i bought it myself after a couple of years, i was on cloud 9 and was living with it literally. After a week, my craze faded. And when it faded, i could feel it. i understood i was wrong.
Every single relationship is an artificial creation by ourselves. Just becoz the male -female coupling had been proven to be a best known route by society, we all push ourselves. i strongly believe that this is a result of a very limited comparative study we have done.

So many of my friends are getting/got married, and i doubt they did it with any good reason. Infact, if any one of the girls of my crush list had agreed, i might hav delayed this blog post about 'why?' and would have continued to respond to different pushes from all directions of life.

What, Why, When - should i do next?

Would it have helped if i hadnt grown?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Back Home!

Been 2 months now. Landed on March 27th. Was a lil different this time. Dint have the excitement that much compared to my previous vacation landings. May be becoz i dint have the return date on mind, also its a trip after almost 6 months.

Heat and Crowd! OMG dunno how this country gonna survive this two nightmares. It has become difficult to sleep @ home with just a fan during summer. It sweats with the fan blowing the hot air on you. And the crowd makes your life tough wherever you go. Even the company food court (Infy Mcity FC2) is so crowded i hate to have lunch there.

First week after my return was pleasant. Took off, stayed home, watched the cricket world cup quarter, semi and finals. Distribution of purchases, time with my nephew and niece. Moved my parents along with me to MM Nagar in the mid of April. Been buying home appliances and other stuff now and then. Moving on.

Missing company of my wavelength, but still have been spending time with family and family friends. Movies, temples ...though not too often.

Changes? I dont remember a day of feeling hungry after landing. Also never felt loneliness. These two were ofcourse more than often there at Chicago. But have started thinking about bank balance. Which i dint care much there. What wins? Time can only answer!