Sustaining myself...?

May 03, 09
After 5 years, have started eating non-veg. ie, have got a stronger reason than the one for which i stopped. A 5 day fever made it all. May be i guess, all these years i was actually waiting for this, a stronger reason. Though the chicken or lamb here arent that spicy to delight my tongue, am still enjoying.
But its not about eating non-veg, its about me changing mentally. Not just food, have got reasons in lot other things as well like cooking skills, looks, behaviour....etc., now to adapt myself to the situation...Am not sure if am really transforming or if am i exposing myself only now of what i am. But am sure the reasons that were holding me in the past have gone weaker now.

One other thing, unfortunately am being attracted to a girl here as well. Looking back my past, i find myself being attracted to any girl who looks innocent, calm, silent, homely and also fair ;). i couldnt help myself going weaker when confronting her, havent spoken with her till now though. My senses and body lang try to attract her without listening their brain. am seriously afraid of where am i proceeding. my history and my analysis of that history had helped me till now to keep away a bit. I wish it holds me till the end...